Confessions of a Sex Geek

By the time I post this, I will have turned 19.  Now, I don't usually advertise my age. In some ways, I feel invalidated by the stereotypes that define how people my age are supposed to be living their lives.  Most people don't seem to take me seriously, and question everything I have to say due to the fact that I don't have as much life experience as others do. The truth is, I'm holding down a full time professional job, studying human sexuality part time in college, trying to build my business of selling sex toys, writing a blog about sex and relationships, and participating in partnered dancing just for fun.  I didn't choose my college based on its night life; I instead chose my college based on the number of people that are also going there to better themselves. Although I do feel like my voice is somewhat muted based on illogical assumptions of how I must be living my life, I feel more strongly that I have learned a number of valuable lessons throughou...

There is no possible way to deny it.  Masturbation is controversial. For decades, centuries even, myths have circulated about the harmfulness of masturbation, including that it will cause blindness; and those that have been brave enough to broach the conversation have been shut down by unwilling crowds.  It is of no surprise that masturbation is just as taboo of a topic as it pertains to romantic and sexual relationships. The truth is that many people would prefer to masturbate than to have sex. Thus we need to come to some basic understanding of how masturbation can be healthy for your relationship, some of the reasons we might think it's wrong to masturbate in a relationship, and how we can modify our beliefs and assumptions to be more masturbation friendly.  As an aside, in this post I will be using sex to refer to any partnered sexual activity. To begin with, there are several reasons why it is okay, healthy even, to continue to masturbate even if you are in...

Recently I have been reading a book titled How I Got Into Sex , a collection of autobiographical accounts of influential figures in the field of sex study and sex research.  Each person featured in this book has contributed something to the community, even if they weren't leading their own research projects.  This book primarily showcases the stories of those that simply became linked to the world of sex, including a criminologist who's job lead her into the deep end of the world of prostitution, as well as a sex curious clergy member.  There are plenty of autobiographies from therapists and researches, as well as those who knew they wanted to delve into the field of sex study when they began their professional and educational careers.  This book was a great read, as someone who is delving into the world of study.  Today I will be talking about the aspects of the book that I liked, such as the wide range of stories I got to read, as well as how this book help...

I've been thinking a lot recently about this phrase; "You know I love you ... right?"  It's a fairly simple phrase, and probably one that most of us who have been in long term committed relationships have said at one point.  It's natural every once in a while to look for some reassurance, especially in those fazes of long term relationships when we grow further apart.  Thus, from the outside, it looks like it should be a fairly harmless phrase.  Would it surprise you to hear, however, that such a phrase may not be as harmless as you think? Now, there are plenty of articles and blog posts pretending to know when the right time is to say "I Love You" in a relationship, and there are plenty of articles also pretending to know the differences between men and women and how they express their feelings in relationships.  One idea though that all of these articles seem to express is that there is a very specific time to say "I love you."  One articl...

Hello, All!  Let me first of all disclose.  The rise of sexually transmitted infections is not simply limited to Idaho.  The reason I have chosen Idaho specifically to focus on in this post is because my Mom lives in Idaho, and I was on the phone with her when I got the inspiration for this topic.  When I started research for this topic, however, the key words "STI on the rise" spawned dozens, no, hundreds of search results for locations from California to Pennsylvania, and Canada to Australia.  After further research, it can most certainly be concluded that we are not dealing with a local epidemic, or even a national one; the rise of STIs is something that is affecting us on a global level.  But for the sake of simplicity, in this post I will be primarily focusing on the United States, with a concentration specifically on Idaho. What are STIs? So why are the rates of STIs on the rise?  Well, to really understand that, we first need to discuss th...

Hello there!  I'm sorry for the short hiatus.  I had a very busy week last week, which is actually what I wanted to share here with you today.  I know this isn't my general content, but don't fret.  There's more content on the way.  It's just going to take a little bit longer to get out right now. Anyways, as some of you reading this might know, I'm a dancer.  I do partner dancing with the Fred Astaire Dance Studio group.  Now, for those of you that are probably squinting at the screen right now and reaching for Google, let me break that down a little bit more for you.  I do ballroom, Latin, and swing dancing with my local branch of the Fred Astaire dance family.  And three times a year, the two Fred Astaire studios in my area get together and do a showcase, which more or less capitalizes on the talents of their students, as well as the instructors.  For each show, students that are of a bronze performance level or higher get the ch...

I recently watched a documentary titled The   Best and Most Beautiful Things.    The Best and Most Beautiful Things follows a young woman as she embraces her early 20s, while legally blind and living with asperger’s syndrome.  The 20s prove for most as a time of exploration and self discovery, and Michelle’s story is no different. It sheds understanding and light to every aspect of her life, from her schooling, to her hobbies.  It successfully demystifies what life can look like for those living with asperger’s, from their sensitivities to the way they are able to interact with the world at large. I had a lot of thoughts about this documentary, especially regarding how, what most people would consider to be disabilities, actually encouraged her development as a young woman to blossom. Warning, this analysis is going to be dense. As I said, I had a lot of thoughts, and I didn't exactly hold any of them back. So, if you somehow manage to make it to the...