I'm A Dancer

Hello there!  I'm sorry for the short hiatus.  I had a very busy week last week, which is actually what I wanted to share here with you today.  I know this isn't my general content, but don't fret.  There's more content on the way.  It's just going to take a little bit longer to get out right now.

Anyways, as some of you reading this might know, I'm a dancer.  I do partner dancing with the Fred Astaire Dance Studio group.  Now, for those of you that are probably squinting at the screen right now and reaching for Google, let me break that down a little bit more for you.  I do ballroom, Latin, and swing dancing with my local branch of the Fred Astaire dance family.  And three times a year, the two Fred Astaire studios in my area get together and do a showcase, which more or less capitalizes on the talents of their students, as well as the instructors.  For each show, students that are of a bronze performance level or higher get the chance to sign up for a choreographed solo with the instructor of their choice.  It's not a competition, it's just a chance for us to all get together, have a little fun, and show off.  Our most recent show was this past Saturday.

You are probably starting to gather a vague idea of where this is going, and if you were going to guess that I signed up for a solo in this last show, you would be right.  For my first ever show, I signed up to do a Rumba Cha Cha Medley to "I'd Be Jealous Too" by Dustin Lynch.  Now, I don't know if any of you have ever had a really great night that still just doesn't feel real.  Like you just got to be an impostor in someone else's skin, looking on through their life like you're watching a movie with the newest technology that allows you to feel everything that the not you character is feeling.  Because if that isn't a feeling that you can empathize with, then I am sincerely sorry for you, because it is one of the greatest, yet most disturbing feelings you may ever experience.  I've had a few nights like that, or at least a few nights that have snapshots pinned up to my wall of forever that I thought at the time were the greatest nights I have ever experienced.  But if you are at all familiar with that feeling, you would understand when I say that this was one of those nights that I have lived for.  Walking away from Saturday night, I feel different.  Like a part of me was awoken from this experience.

I've always been into dancing, and always dreamed for the opportunity of a night like this.  I can't really remember how old I was when I first got into dancing, but I had to have been somewhere between 8 and 10.  My passion for the sport started with watching Dancing With The Stars with my mom.  Since then really I have dreamed about getting the opportunity to perform a choreographed routine, on a stage, complete with lighting, props, costuming, and, most importantly, another partner.  For several years, I had taught myself how to dance.  I'd done my own choreography to music, and for years, performed for anyone who would watch, usually my own family and friends.  It was only about a year and a half ago that I actually started taking lessons through the Fred Astaire group.  I scaled the ranks fairly quickly with my self taught experience and have been sitting at the bronze level for quite some time now.  What's absurd right now to me is that I almost passed up on this opportunity.  It's really expensive, and honestly you don't get that much out of it.  15 private lessons, two choreography sessions, and one professional coaching.  It doesn't seem to me like that should be worth $3,000.  And then, not to mention all of the self primping that goes into it as well.  If you want to get a manicure, or your hair done, or if you want to invest in an environmentally friendly self tanner.  Usually, you also need to buy a new outfit, which can also be outrageously expensive.  But, regardless, if I'd had a million dollars to spend on this show for the experience that I had, I would have in a heartbeat.

Being out on the floor was a completely different experience.  Honestly, I don't remember much of the dance itself.  I think I may have blacked out for the minute and a half that I was up there.  Muscle memory just sort of kicked in  I didn't hear any of the cheers, or see anyone in the crowd.  It was really just me and my instructor out there on the floor, like we were back at the dance studio in the middle of another lesson.  All I really have to go off of for this experience is the video, and trust me, I have watched it a few hundred times, which you can as well, should you follow the link below.

"I'd Be Jealous Too" Rumba Cha Cha Medley

Now, if you're wondering why I chose partner dancing, then I don't blame you.  I suppose that it doesn't really seem like the best statement to come from someone who's life mission is to make this world a more accepting place for those coming from all walks of life.  I mean, partner dancing can be fairly sexist, fairly misogynistic, and it's not really the most friendly environment for those outside of the gender binary.  So why would I support something that seems to bring so much negativity to the world?  And that's because there is so much more to partner dancing than a history of sexist tendencies.  It's about emotional connection with another person.  It's about trust.  And it can be a great commentary on relationships.  Also, I have seen how partner dancing can be so much more than it's history.  As the tides of social culture change, so does the expression of it.  It still has a long way to go, but there is still a growing circle where I can be my non-binary self out on the dance floor, without a fear of judgement, and I know that if we keep the right people in the right places to enact social change as it becomes available, that we will be able to see the shift in the attitudes revolving around partner dancing.

I hope you enjoyed this style of blog post!  Hopefully I'll get to share other things like this in the future.  It was nice not having to do a whole bunch of research in order to pull something together.  Don't get me wrong, I still love researching, it's just very time consuming.  I'll be back soon with a piece on a pioneer in the field of feminist sex study whom I very much look up to.  Thank you for reading!

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