19 Things I've Learned in 19 Years

By the time I post this, I will have turned 19.  Now, I don't usually advertise my age. In some ways, I feel invalidated by the stereotypes that define how people my age are supposed to be living their lives.  Most people don't seem to take me seriously, and question everything I have to say due to the fact that I don't have as much life experience as others do. The truth is, I'm holding down a full time professional job, studying human sexuality part time in college, trying to build my business of selling sex toys, writing a blog about sex and relationships, and participating in partnered dancing just for fun.  I didn't choose my college based on its night life; I instead chose my college based on the number of people that are also going there to better themselves. Although I do feel like my voice is somewhat muted based on illogical assumptions of how I must be living my life, I feel more strongly that I have learned a number of valuable lessons throughout my 19 years, and I would like to share them with you now.

1. Forgiveness is a process, and one that begins with you.  There will be times when it feels like you have forgiven all that you can, and those times are when you are wrong.  Forgiveness, too, is a process that will never end.
2. It is okay to be wrong.  You were not meant to know everything, and no one is assuming that you do.
3. Be honest, both with yourself, and with those that question you.  You are only making it more difficult for yourself, chasing lies and loose ends, when you could have just tied them together in the first place.
4. It is okay to ask for help.  Just like you were not meant to know everything, you were not meant to do everything either.
5. You are not alone.  No matter where you are or what you are going through, there are other's out there that have gone through something similar too.
6. You should be able to dance like there's no one watching, even when you're on a stage in front of hundreds of people.
7. It is not popular to hate yourself.  It's trendy, and there is a difference.
8. You will not be able to please everyone, so before you even try, you should please yourself.
9. There will be people who care what you do with your body, but they are not the ones that have to live with it.
10. Love will always, always be worth the risk.
11. You will never regret trying something new, but you will regret not trying it.
12. The easy answer is seldom the right answer.  Doing the right thing will almost always be hard, but it will be worth it.
13. Self care is not something that happens when you have time, it is something you need to make time for.
14. It is okay to say no. The world will not stop spinning, and no one will think any differently of you for turning down an opportunity to take care of yourself. After all, you will not be able to take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first.
15. Mental illness is not my weakness, it is my strength.
16. Family does not have to be comprised of the people you were born with; family can be made of those you've chosen to be a part of your life.
17. If you realize you've been doing something, and enjoying doing it for years, it is safe to assume that you will be doing it for the rest of your life.
18. You will change. Your sexual orientation will change, your gender identity will change, and your preferences will change. You are constantly evolving, and you don't have to defend that to anyone.
19. Do not hide from your age. Embrace it. Because, "in the end, it is not the years in your life that count, it is the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)

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