Confessions of a Sex Geek

There is a misconception that grooming only occurs in cases of child abuse or pedophilia.  While those instances are a common place to find grooming, it is also all too common in romantic relationships.  So how do you know if you, or someone in your life is being groomed, and what can you do to support someone who you know is being groomed. First of all, what is grooming?  Grooming is a tactic of manipulation purposely used by a manipulator to establish a false since of security for the target.  A manipulator will often buy their target gifts, plan elaborate dates, and supply compliments to make their target feel loved and supported.  Grooming often looks like dating, but it comes with a nasty twist.  Once the manipulator feels that the target is feeling secure in the relationship, they will begin to exhibit signs of visibly controlling or abusive behavior.  This behavior is introduced so gradually that it may often come across as normal.  The t...

Birth control has always been an issue for me, and it is an issue that many women need to face.  It can often feel like there's no information on birth control out there, and no resources to help you figure out what is the right option for you.  It can often feel like we're on this journey alone.  That's why in today's blog post I am going to compare two birth control options for you.  They are both IUDs, or intrauterine devices, named LiLetta and Kyleena.  If you don't recognize them, that's because they are on the newer side.  Kyleena is the newest one, and LiLetta has been available for a few years now.  They both aren't as mainstream as the most commonly heard of IUDs, Mirena and Paragard.  Today we'll be looking at how these types of birth control work, their side effects, and how you might be able to tell which one would be better for you. Let's start with LiLetta.  I've actually had this one for almost three years now.  When I...

I have always loved reading, and I have always been the type of person to insist on reading the book before watching the movie.  There have only been a few instances in which I have knowingly broken that rule, one of which was when "Love Simon" came out.  For those of you who don't know "Love Simon" is the movie adaptation for the young adult novel "Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda," written by Becky Albertalli.  And, in case you really have been living under a rock for the past year, here's a brief summary.  It's a gay high school love story.  Now, if you didn't know that much, I suggest you stop reading here.  This review will contain spoilers .  If you have only watched the movie, and intend on still reading the book, I suggest you stop reading.  If you have only read the book and still need to watch the movie, seriously, for your own good, stop reading.   Come back once you have consumed all you want to of this book and movie world. ...

There's this power that a good romantic comedy holds over the soul; the hope that true love can conquer all of the trials put to it, and the joy brought on by that initial spark that there might be something great brewing.  But, no matter how great a romantic comedy might make you feel, ultimately they are wildly unrealistic.  In real life, relationships are hard work, and there may be some differences that are just too much to overcome.  You may not get the person of your dreams, and true love may not be able to overcome all.  Regardless of how great a lighthearted love story can make you feel, if you don't know what to watch out for, it can easily distort what you think romance should look like. I know what you're thinking.  Romantic comedies are just movies, and you should be able to watch it as just that; a movie.  Movies are based on fiction, and they should not speak for reality.  A romantic comedy is no different than a fantasy movie; we can w...

A Colorado bill that would bar abstinence only sex education from public and charter schools recently passed the House and is now moving on to the Senate.  This bill would ban abstinence only curriculums from sexual health courses on both the private and charter level, instead replacing the way those courses had been taught with comprehensive information on adolescent sexuality.  If this bill becomes law, it would would make Colorado the 15th state to not require abstinence based sexual health education to be a part of sex ed curriculums.  So, what is the deal with abstinence only sex education? What is the issue with it, why do states continue to support it, and how does comprehensive sex education differ from it? First of all, I think it's important to define what exactly abstinence only education is, as well as what comprehensive sex education is, even if it seems pretty self explanatory.  Abstinence only sex education is a type of sexual health education tha...

I'm not going to lie.  I definitely started researching this topic on the side of this debate that adults don't have sleepovers; or that if they do, they don't continue to after developing more adult responsibilities such as long term relationships and professional jobs.  I started researching this topic to figure out if I was in the wrong, or if my reasoning was coming from the right place.  What I found is that I am not necessarily wrong to think sleepovers don't really have a place in established adult lives, but that it is a bit more complicated than that. Generally, across the research I did, there are two defining reasons that it is considered okay to spend the night out at a friend's house, and those are that it is too late to drive home safely, or that you are too drunk to drive home safely.  I agree with this; your safety should come before making sure you're home for bedtime, and if your significant other, or anyone else for that matter, wants to ...

For many people, travelling is a hugely important part of their lives.  However, maintaining that part of your life while in a relationship can prove to be tricky.  In many cases, your relationship may not be cut out for the extended periods of time spent apart, the lack of physicality, and the change in communicative strategies.  Likewise, your relationship may not be strong enough to withstand exploring a new environment together.  Being away from home and in a foreign land can all have their own stressors, and if you are someone who values time apart, then being together for such an extended time could take a toll of its own.  So, with how many issues that can arise in a relationship during travel, what's the point of it?  Should you travel separately from your partner, or should all of the trips you take be together?  Or, for the sake of your relationship, should you just do away with travelling altogether?  Let's discuss. First of all, l...