The Ins and Outs of Travelling in a Relationship.

For many people, travelling is a hugely important part of their lives.  However, maintaining that part of your life while in a relationship can prove to be tricky.  In many cases, your relationship may not be cut out for the extended periods of time spent apart, the lack of physicality, and the change in communicative strategies.  Likewise, your relationship may not be strong enough to withstand exploring a new environment together.  Being away from home and in a foreign land can all have their own stressors, and if you are someone who values time apart, then being together for such an extended time could take a toll of its own.  So, with how many issues that can arise in a relationship during travel, what's the point of it?  Should you travel separately from your partner, or should all of the trips you take be together?  Or, for the sake of your relationship, should you just do away with travelling altogether?  Let's discuss.

First of all, let's talk about travelling together.  There are plenty of couples who choose to travel together, and while there are certainly issues that can pop up while on a trip together, there are also plenty of upsides to travelling as a couple.  Exploring a new environment with someone you care about can help strengthen your relationship.  It allows you to have quality time alone without the stress and distractions of delay life.  You get to form new memories with your significant other, and experience a new environment through the eyes of your partner.  Not to mention, the companionship can be pretty nice too.

Still, there are plenty of issues that can arise with travelling together.  You are, after all, in a new environment.  You don't know anyone else around you, you are probably jet lagged, and you might not even speak the language.  This can lead to a build up of stress, which, if you're not careful, you might accidentally end up taking out on your partner.  If you're not great at dealing with conflict, this can get messy.  You may not just be able to get away and give yourself some time to cool down, like you might be able to back at home.  If you don't diffuse the situation quickly, you may be in for a rough night, or even a rough week.

Generally, there are no guidelines as to when you should be ready to go on your first trip with your partner; the best trip I have taken with my partner was our first one, and we had only been together for two months.  However, due to how many issues can arise in your relationship by choosing to travel together, it is generally recommended to make sure you are in a secure enough point in your relationship that you can handle it.  As Elite Daily put it, you should consider the "dating milestones" you and your partner have achieved.  Have you spent long periods of time together yet?  Before you hit the wide open road together, maybe you should go for a staycation in a local hotel for a couple of nights, or spend a whole day out on the town.  Also, you should evaluate how you and your partner resolve conflicts, and how prepared you are to take on whatever conflicts arise while you are on vacation.

There is also the option of travelling solo.  Travelling solo let's you have the freedom of choosing where to go and what to see.  You don't have to wait on your sightseeing partner(s), and you can really focus on getting lost in the environment and culture you are exploring.  Many people that have chosen to travel solo have found the experience to be very empowering.  Plus, some couples can't coordinate their work schedules in such a way that allows for travelling together.

As great as solo travel can be, for those in a committed relationship, it can come with another whole level of responsibility.  During solo travel, your relationship faces the strain of limited communication.  You may be in different time zones that make communicating during normal hours much more difficult, as well as potentially long flights where texting or calling may be limited or at the very least cost you an arm and a leg.  On top of that, you are on this vacation to explore, not to stay glued to your phone and if your partner is trying to text and call you at all hours of the day and night, you may grow resentful of not being able to have your own time, and your partner may grow resentful of not being able to have more time for you.  This growing resentment and the stress of not just being able to talk it out can lead to fights, which can seem a lot more crucial than they would be without the distance between you.

Much of the advice given for travelling together can be re-purposed for solo travel as well.  You need to be in a secure and trusting relationship to be able to handle the stresses and insecurities that travelling alone can bring up.  You need to be good at resolving conflict, and also have faith in the strength of your relationship.  You need to have both trust in your partner, and trust in the distance separating you.  You also need to be able to set up a reasonable plan for communication while your away.  Is it one Skype call at night, or will you be picking up a local SIM card to ensure lasting communication with your partner, no matter where you go.  There are plenty of options; you and your partner just need to choose which one makes the most sense for your relationship.  As Chantae, a seasoned solo traveler from the blog site Wanderful, explained in her blog about relationships and travelling, the first trip she took alone was the hardest.  So, while it might take some time to figure out what works for you, it should only get easier with time.

Overall, travel can be a wonderful asset to relationships.  Exploring a new environment with your partner can not only create new memories with your partner, but it can also strengthen your relationship.  Solo travel can also have its own benefits, from establishing a since of freedom, to improving your confidence, and allowing you to still travel if your partner is unable to get away from work.  Both ways of travelling can still put a strain on your relationship, be it either from a lack of communication, too much time spent together, or just a build up of all of the stresses that are associated with travelling.  Being in a relationship does not mean the end of your travel life, but you do need to be prepared to deal with whatever issues may come up while you're away.

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