I Have A Port - Can I Still Have Sex?
For those of you who don't know, I am disabled. I live with a multitude of chronic illnesses, which have worsened significantly over the course of the last year. On March 16th, 2020, I had a port placed in order to help manage the symptoms of my chronic illnesses. Before we can get into the juicy details that you are all here for, I feel like it is important to provide some additional context on what my conditions are, what a port is, and why I needed to get one.
Firstly, my primary condition is Hypermobile Ehler's Danlos Syndrome (hEDS). This is a connective tissue disorder that affects the collagen and proteins in my joints and other connective tissues. I experience frequent joint dislocations and subluxations in all of my primary and non primary joints. My hips, my shoulders, knees, ankles, wrists, fingers, toes. You name it, it comes out of place.
HEDS does not just cause joint complications though, as connective tissues make up all other functions of the human body. I also have issues with my autonomic nervous system known as dysautonamia. My specific type of dysautonaumia is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, otherwise known as POTS. My veins struggle to circulate blood through my body correctly, and when I sit up or stand from a sitting or reclining position, my blood does not circulate to my brain the way that it should. My heart races to try to force blood back into my brain so that I don't pass out, but this doesn't usually work. I can pass out, or experience severe dizziness, nausea, fatigue, and visual or audio disturbances.
My third condition is Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). This causes spontaneous allergic reactions that vary in severity, There isn't any one thing that I am allergic too, although I have triggers. They can happen any time, anywhere.
Lastly, I am working on a diagnosis for gastroparesis. This is a paralyzation of the gastrointestinal system. I have issues digesting food and passing it through my body. I am waiting on tests to determine if this is causing my gastrointestinal distress.
Thus, me and my doctors decided that a port was the best option for me. What is a port, you ask? Good question. A port is a device implanted under the surface of the skin, usually in the chest that runs a catheter through a large vein that leads to the heart. It is a type of central line that allows intravenous access without having to go through a vein in the arm.
So why do I need one? Isn't that something that cancer patients receive? Alright, I see where you're going with that. Cancer patients are the type of central line haver's that you typically see portrayed in the media. Cancer patients have these scary and impactful stories that make you want to listen to them, and those are the stories you listen to. There's nothing interesting living your entire life in some state of chronic illness. That said, cancer patients aren't the only people who need regular IV access. I need a port to receive regular IV saline. My POTS means I have to stay very hydrated, which I struggle to do because of my gastrointestinal issues. My MCAS causes me to experience allergic reactions to a variety of medications, which limits the types of medications I can take to help control my POTS. Hydration helps with the fatigue and dizziness associated with my POTS, and the more hydrated my cells are, the less MCAS reactions I have. Its a win win.
Now that we've gotten the boring, educational back story out of the way, let's address the real reason you clicked on this blog post. Since I have this device in my chest, and a line connected to it 4 days out of the week, can I still have sex? Yes. Yes, I can still have sex.
There is a myth out there that disabled people do not have sex. This myth is incorrect, and is actually downright harmful. Disabled people across the board are infantilized and pitied. A lot of us need care workers and nurses to perform simple daily functions or to help meet our medical needs from the safety of our own homes. The view of sexuality that we have through porn and other types of media is from an able-bodied lens. Thus, when most people look at those who have physical disabilities and try to think of them having sex, the first question that tends to come up is "how?"
The brutal truth of what it takes to live in a disabled body is not sexy.
That does not mean that disabled people aren't sexy. Disabled people are still sexy. We still have bodies, and our skin is beautiful, alluring, and sexy. A lot of us do still desire sex, just as other people do. Disabled people are still people, and physical attraction and sexual appetite are normal. It just might take more work, and more communication than it would for two able-bodied people to get it on. Those of us who want to have sex will find a way to make it work.
This blog post will not be a one off. I intend on making this into a series as I personally explore my sexuality and sensuality with a port. In the future, we can discuss more of the gritty details of having sex with a port, the preparation you might have to take, the precautions, positions that work better, as well as how it might affect romantic relationships, or the affects such a change in physical appearance can have on body confidence.
If you want to follow along on my journey, go follow me on Instagram @forthe.girlwhowaited. Over there, I talk daily about disability and share my personal journey.
Firstly, my primary condition is Hypermobile Ehler's Danlos Syndrome (hEDS). This is a connective tissue disorder that affects the collagen and proteins in my joints and other connective tissues. I experience frequent joint dislocations and subluxations in all of my primary and non primary joints. My hips, my shoulders, knees, ankles, wrists, fingers, toes. You name it, it comes out of place.
HEDS does not just cause joint complications though, as connective tissues make up all other functions of the human body. I also have issues with my autonomic nervous system known as dysautonamia. My specific type of dysautonaumia is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, otherwise known as POTS. My veins struggle to circulate blood through my body correctly, and when I sit up or stand from a sitting or reclining position, my blood does not circulate to my brain the way that it should. My heart races to try to force blood back into my brain so that I don't pass out, but this doesn't usually work. I can pass out, or experience severe dizziness, nausea, fatigue, and visual or audio disturbances.
My third condition is Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). This causes spontaneous allergic reactions that vary in severity, There isn't any one thing that I am allergic too, although I have triggers. They can happen any time, anywhere.
Lastly, I am working on a diagnosis for gastroparesis. This is a paralyzation of the gastrointestinal system. I have issues digesting food and passing it through my body. I am waiting on tests to determine if this is causing my gastrointestinal distress.
Thus, me and my doctors decided that a port was the best option for me. What is a port, you ask? Good question. A port is a device implanted under the surface of the skin, usually in the chest that runs a catheter through a large vein that leads to the heart. It is a type of central line that allows intravenous access without having to go through a vein in the arm.
So why do I need one? Isn't that something that cancer patients receive? Alright, I see where you're going with that. Cancer patients are the type of central line haver's that you typically see portrayed in the media. Cancer patients have these scary and impactful stories that make you want to listen to them, and those are the stories you listen to. There's nothing interesting living your entire life in some state of chronic illness. That said, cancer patients aren't the only people who need regular IV access. I need a port to receive regular IV saline. My POTS means I have to stay very hydrated, which I struggle to do because of my gastrointestinal issues. My MCAS causes me to experience allergic reactions to a variety of medications, which limits the types of medications I can take to help control my POTS. Hydration helps with the fatigue and dizziness associated with my POTS, and the more hydrated my cells are, the less MCAS reactions I have. Its a win win.
Now that we've gotten the boring, educational back story out of the way, let's address the real reason you clicked on this blog post. Since I have this device in my chest, and a line connected to it 4 days out of the week, can I still have sex? Yes. Yes, I can still have sex.
There is a myth out there that disabled people do not have sex. This myth is incorrect, and is actually downright harmful. Disabled people across the board are infantilized and pitied. A lot of us need care workers and nurses to perform simple daily functions or to help meet our medical needs from the safety of our own homes. The view of sexuality that we have through porn and other types of media is from an able-bodied lens. Thus, when most people look at those who have physical disabilities and try to think of them having sex, the first question that tends to come up is "how?"
The brutal truth of what it takes to live in a disabled body is not sexy.
That does not mean that disabled people aren't sexy. Disabled people are still sexy. We still have bodies, and our skin is beautiful, alluring, and sexy. A lot of us do still desire sex, just as other people do. Disabled people are still people, and physical attraction and sexual appetite are normal. It just might take more work, and more communication than it would for two able-bodied people to get it on. Those of us who want to have sex will find a way to make it work.
This blog post will not be a one off. I intend on making this into a series as I personally explore my sexuality and sensuality with a port. In the future, we can discuss more of the gritty details of having sex with a port, the preparation you might have to take, the precautions, positions that work better, as well as how it might affect romantic relationships, or the affects such a change in physical appearance can have on body confidence.
If you want to follow along on my journey, go follow me on Instagram @forthe.girlwhowaited. Over there, I talk daily about disability and share my personal journey.
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