The Romanticization of Rape Culture
Alright, so we've established by this point that rape is bad, right? That's a great first step. Media nowadays has taken a stance against sexual assault, as is evidenced by the #MeToo movement. Consent is much more widely talked about on public platforms. Overall we, as a society, are much more informed about sexual violence and our ears are much more fine-tuned to pick up the first cries of sexual injustice. Despite our recently enlightened nature, rape culture still persists. Rape culture is the part of society that rationalizes, trivializes and enables sexual violence. Rape culture is the part of society that presents excuses as to the reasoning behind sexual assaults, victim blaming the survivors of sexual assaults, and establishes a sense of fear when it comes to reporting sexual assault. Rape culture is the part of society that says "your skirt is too short," and the part of society that fails to recognize how men can be sexually assaulted too. Ultimately, rape culture enables rape and other forms of sexual assault by cultivating a fearful and shameful attitude towards it. So, why would we romanticize this attitude that condones acts of sexual violence? Well, as it turns out sexual violence is rooted deep in old, misogynistic attitudes that originally saw no harm in sexual violence as women did not have ownership to their sexuality or their bodies, and when presented in movies and TV with rose-tented lenses, there's a part of it that we still think is romantic.
Did you ever wonder why there very seldom seem to be cases of same sex sexual assault, or why men who claim they were sexually assaulted are shamed out of the public eye before they can seek the justice that they deserve? Well, it has to do with the deep-seated misogyny of sexual violence, where our social climate has dictated that men are always supposed to want sex. Thus, if they want it all the time, then they can't be raped. Society teaches something similar for instances of same sex sexual violence. The experiences of survivors of woman on woman sexual assault are often delegitimized as well due to the laws in place that define rape by the necessity of penile penetration.
The sexist history of sexual violence also accounts for the victim blaming that occurs when someone reports a sexual crime. All of the "you shouldn't have been drinking" and the "your dress was so short, what were you expecting?" comments arose from the sexist belief that women's bodies are only meant to please men. That if you were in any way teasing a guy with that short party dress you were wearing, or just being "overly" flirtatious, then you were asking for it. Recently, some of these assumptions are starting to lose their grip as consent is more regularly being taught as a clear agreement to pursuing sexual activities that needs to be given every time you want to take a roll in the hay, but here are still plenty of instances where victim blaming prevents some people from seeking help when they have been assaulted.
So if these ideas cause so much harm, why haven't they fizzled out of our society yet? As it turns out, as great as the social internet is at spreading messages about sex positivity, self love, and consent, it also allows the harmful messages of victim blaming, sex shame, and fear to receive more air time than they might otherwise receive. Media actually allows for rape culture to not only be perpetuated, but also to be romanticized. Shows and movies will take the idea that if a woman, or the male character's conquest, turns him down that he can keep pursuing her until he wears her down to the point of caving in and agreeing to go on a date with him. A great example of this is in the Netflix Original Show "Atypical" where the main character's sister is being pursued by a boy at school. This boy is not at all her type and she is not interested in going on a date with him, but that does not at all slow this boy down. It only makes him more determined to "win her over." He essentially stalks her, showing up at her house unexpectedly and giving her unwanted gifts until she is eventually worn down enough to agree to go on a date with him, just to get him off her back. Not only is this annoying; it is downright creepy. This example comes up time and time again, and it only shows that men are incapable of taking no for an answer, even outside of the bedroom. It also paints being pressured into a relationship as romantic, which if you haven't learned otherwise, you may grow to believe.
So is there anything that you can do to help lessen the affects that the social internet has on the romanticization of rape culture? The good news is that the social internet would actually not exist if it wasn't for the public assisting in the flow of information. You can both be mindful of the type of media that you consume, and the type of media that you share. If you hear a song, or watch a film of some sort that kind of makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck, then you don't have to continue consuming it. You don't have to retweet it, or post a picture of the movie poster on your Instagram. You can just shut that type of media down. Social media is made out of what everyone individually decides they want to share. It is a people's place, which makes it much easier than other institutions to change the tide.
There are plenty of other ways to stand against the ideas of rape culture as well. Shutting down comments that are meant to blame those who have survived sexual assault is a great way to help spread the message that victim blaming is not okay. It is also important to give voices to those who are denied the right to claim they were assaulted due to their sex or their sexual orientation. You can also educate yourself on the processes of reporting sexual assault in your area so that you are prepared if you or someone close to you finds themselves in such a situation. However, none of these methods of standing against rape culture will hold up if the media continues to romanticize it.
All in all, rape culture has persisted for hundreds of years. It prevents those who have survived sexual abuse from seeking help, and blames those who have survived assault for bringing it on themselves. It won't be easy to eradicate rape culture completely, as it has become so ingrained in our society over the passage of time. But the age of social media has enabled the romanticization of rape culture, which makes it even more challenging to unravel the decades of deeply rooted misogyny and sexism that stand behind it. Being more conscious of the types of media we share and consume, and whether that media paints a romantic image of being pressured into relational or sexual deeds, is the first step to standing against the romanticization of rape culture.
The sexist history of sexual violence also accounts for the victim blaming that occurs when someone reports a sexual crime. All of the "you shouldn't have been drinking" and the "your dress was so short, what were you expecting?" comments arose from the sexist belief that women's bodies are only meant to please men. That if you were in any way teasing a guy with that short party dress you were wearing, or just being "overly" flirtatious, then you were asking for it. Recently, some of these assumptions are starting to lose their grip as consent is more regularly being taught as a clear agreement to pursuing sexual activities that needs to be given every time you want to take a roll in the hay, but here are still plenty of instances where victim blaming prevents some people from seeking help when they have been assaulted.
So if these ideas cause so much harm, why haven't they fizzled out of our society yet? As it turns out, as great as the social internet is at spreading messages about sex positivity, self love, and consent, it also allows the harmful messages of victim blaming, sex shame, and fear to receive more air time than they might otherwise receive. Media actually allows for rape culture to not only be perpetuated, but also to be romanticized. Shows and movies will take the idea that if a woman, or the male character's conquest, turns him down that he can keep pursuing her until he wears her down to the point of caving in and agreeing to go on a date with him. A great example of this is in the Netflix Original Show "Atypical" where the main character's sister is being pursued by a boy at school. This boy is not at all her type and she is not interested in going on a date with him, but that does not at all slow this boy down. It only makes him more determined to "win her over." He essentially stalks her, showing up at her house unexpectedly and giving her unwanted gifts until she is eventually worn down enough to agree to go on a date with him, just to get him off her back. Not only is this annoying; it is downright creepy. This example comes up time and time again, and it only shows that men are incapable of taking no for an answer, even outside of the bedroom. It also paints being pressured into a relationship as romantic, which if you haven't learned otherwise, you may grow to believe.
So is there anything that you can do to help lessen the affects that the social internet has on the romanticization of rape culture? The good news is that the social internet would actually not exist if it wasn't for the public assisting in the flow of information. You can both be mindful of the type of media that you consume, and the type of media that you share. If you hear a song, or watch a film of some sort that kind of makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck, then you don't have to continue consuming it. You don't have to retweet it, or post a picture of the movie poster on your Instagram. You can just shut that type of media down. Social media is made out of what everyone individually decides they want to share. It is a people's place, which makes it much easier than other institutions to change the tide.
There are plenty of other ways to stand against the ideas of rape culture as well. Shutting down comments that are meant to blame those who have survived sexual assault is a great way to help spread the message that victim blaming is not okay. It is also important to give voices to those who are denied the right to claim they were assaulted due to their sex or their sexual orientation. You can also educate yourself on the processes of reporting sexual assault in your area so that you are prepared if you or someone close to you finds themselves in such a situation. However, none of these methods of standing against rape culture will hold up if the media continues to romanticize it.
All in all, rape culture has persisted for hundreds of years. It prevents those who have survived sexual abuse from seeking help, and blames those who have survived assault for bringing it on themselves. It won't be easy to eradicate rape culture completely, as it has become so ingrained in our society over the passage of time. But the age of social media has enabled the romanticization of rape culture, which makes it even more challenging to unravel the decades of deeply rooted misogyny and sexism that stand behind it. Being more conscious of the types of media we share and consume, and whether that media paints a romantic image of being pressured into relational or sexual deeds, is the first step to standing against the romanticization of rape culture.
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