My First Pride

On June 16th I went to my first ever pride event.  Now, I've been trying to make it to Pride for years, but previously I lived in a fairly sex negative environment with no reliable form of transportation to make it into the city.  Last year was my first real chance to go, and, of course, my family had to plan a trip to New York during the weekend of Pride.  Regardless, I still found my own ways to celebrate that weekend, but it definitely wasn't the same.  Thus, this was my first time at a Pride event since coming out 3 years ago, and since coming to terms with my sexuality 4 years ago.

As a disclaimer, I'm a pansexual, gender non-conformist.  But my identity means so much more to me than just those few words, so let me give you a run down.  I am inclined to be interested in you romantically or sexually regardless of your gender.  If I find you attractive, then I find you attractive, and that's that.  I am, however, more inclined to be attracted to those that appear as feminine.  As for my gender, I formerly considered myself agender.  I don't have a pronoun preference; you can refer to me as she or her, they or them, he or him and I will be just as happy either way.  While referring to myself as agender still fits, I don't identify with the label as much as I used to.  When I first pinned that label for myself, it was kind of more as a desperate attempt to be something other than female.  Since then, I have learned to embrace my femininity.  While I still don't feel the pull to be feminine every day, I have learned that I have so much power and strength as a woman in this society and I generally present myself as feminine to honor that power.  I love my body and the strength that it has a woman, as well as the pleasure it brings me, and I don't see a problem with modifying the way that I express myself to make myself more comfortable.

Now, while I have been to several other events and large gatherings chalk full of sex positivity, I had never been to anything quite like Pride.  There were people of all backgrounds, in all forms of dress, all celebrating the freedom of love in their own ways.  At one of the booths, there was a white board with a list of multiple gender identities.  There was a basket of magnets sitting next to it.  The point of the board was to mark which one you identified as.  There were several options available, all the way from cis-male and female, to trans male or female, to agender, gender-fluid, and two spirit.  There was also a space off to the side to write in your own identity in case none of those were something you identified as.  Throughout the day, those running the booth would keep tally of the magnets left in each column in order to remove them for other's to use.

I mention this booth specifically because it was so cool to walk past that, which we did multiple times throughout the day, and watch the numbers steadily increase.  It was also incredibly interesting to see all of the types of people that were there that day.  And you couldn't pick them out of the crowd, like the general misconception is about those whose gender is ambigous.  Everyone there just looked queer, in some way or another.  You couldn't tell who was or wasn't in some way different than the status quo.

Something else that I found very fascinating were the variety of booths there that day.  There were so many more displays available than just small organizations or volunteer agencies that were just trying to recruit.  My local grocery store had a tent there, as did my bank, and my local science museum.  I honestly don't know how many of those businesses and chains were just there for show, as a way of claiming their stance towards diversity in order to make themselves look better.  Even if that was the case, it was still cool to see the support from much larger businesses in the area.

Honestly, it was probably a good thing that I hadn't been able to make it to a Pride event before this one, because if I had, I most likely would have been a lot more overwhelmed at this event.  Having the opportunity previously to go to large events that were in celebration of sexuality definitely gave me a chance to be exposed to such an environment.  I remember how overwhelmed I was the very first time I went to a conference for sex educators.  I had just turned 17, and it was my first time being around like minded individuals.  It was truly a life changing experience, and I am just glad that I did not have to experience that for the first time at my first Pride event.

Overall, it was a lovely day.  It wasn't too uncomfortably hot outside, but it also didn't rain on us the whole time.  I feel like I got to learn a lot through this experience, and it is certainly one that I am looking to repeat.

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